My name is Victoria. I’m 40-something years old, and this is my story about my MTF transition after 40.
While the journey to my true self wasn’t easy, the end result proved to be well worth it.
*Please note: We use terminology like AMAB (assigned male at birth), MtF (male-to-female), and trans-feminine interchangeably for understanding across all age groups, cultures, genders, and identities. For more information. check out our glossary of terms.
My Struggles and the Challenges I Had to Face
I was born in Spain, but when the economic crisis struck again, I, like many others, relocated to Germany. It was a land of abundance, but it wasn’t only about jobs in my situation.
In Spain, unemployment among transgender people has reached an all-time high of 85 percent, forcing the majority of us to choose between hiding our gender identity or turning to prostitution to make a living.
MTF Transitioning After 40: Finding a new safe space.
Despite hosting Europe’s largest Pride Parade, Spain is not a safe haven for the LGBTQIA+ community. Bullying, political prosecution, and various forms of aggression are the icing on the hatred cake, making life as a trans person in Spain a heroic feat—despite the efforts of LGBTQIA+ organisations.
When I finally chose to follow my heart and live my life, I encountered numerous difficulties in Germany. People aren’t eager to speak with you; they’re more tolerant than pleasant, which isn’t necessarily a negative thing. However, there are many glass ceilings to break, beginning with your health insurance.
“You’re Not Trans Enough”
I was determined to live my life as my true self and sought medical care right away. I started by scheduling my first appointments at the local hospital. There, they referred me to psychiatrists. After a few sessions, I was told “I wasn’t trans enough” to begin treatment.
It appears that health insurance companies don’t mind taking a big piece of your paycheck each month, but spending it on “expensive procedures that last a lifetime” is an expense they’d rather avoid.
Taking Matters Into My Own Hands to Transition After 40
MTF Transitioning After 40: Self-Meding with Birth Control
I was disappointed, to say the least. Although I believed there was nothing I could do, I was never willing to give up. I was determined to do what I could.
I went to several treatment sessions. After being repeatedly denied for MTF HRT, I began to use birth control pills as a substitute. I could buy the pills in Spain without a prescription. I would take two pills per day and stockpile enough to last a year.
There was no medical follow-up, nothing. I knew this wasn’t how the medical community should handle an older MTF transition—let alone any transition. It carries many risks, but I felt my back was up against a wall.
When the Pandemic Struck, Everything Changed
After spending so much time in the closet, I finally began to come out. I told my friends first, then some of my colleagues. I’d spend the holidays in Spain and return with my pill supply. That is until COVID-19 took centre stage.
It turned out to be a disaster. With travel restrictions in place, I ran out of birth control pills and had no means of replenishing my supply.
My Introduction to GenderGP
I’m fortunate to have wonderful friends all over the world. My friend Cara told me about an organisation called “GenderGP” during one of my numerous visits to Manchester’s Sparkle.
GenderGP helped her as she began her journey. She told me of their work not only with HRT but also with therapy—something I had been avoiding for so long! As I took my last pill, I began to look into what they had to offer. It turned out that I had been missing out on a lot of help.
Making a Promise to Myself to Transition After 40—and Keeping It
I scheduled my firstappointment for December 31, 2020.
This time, I vowed to do my proper and well-deserved MTF transition after 40.
Suddenly, everything hit me all at once.
“What should I do if I’m not accepted?”
“What should I do if I am?”
This was a huge step for me.
I’m going to be able to live my life the way I want to, but I won’t be able to disguise it as I have been. It was surely a time of uncertainty, hesitancy, and fear about the future.
Nevertheless, since that first interview with GenderGP, everything has been a lot easier and more comfortable than it had been.
GenderGP has been taking care of me for nearly a year—as a human being, not as a member with a membership number. They’ve helped me with counselling (therapy), medical advice, HRT access, health report follow-up, and lab tests.
Read More:
- Transitioning in Older Age
- Where are all the older trans men?
GenderGP Made a Big Difference in My Life to help me Transition After 40
GenderGP offers excellent help. They can’t, however, do things for you. You have to define and create your transition the way you want it to be.
Please keep in mind that you cannot sit back and relax while someone else takes over and serves it to you on a silver platter.
You can transform your life by taking that step, becoming a member of the community, and protecting your physical and mental health. All you need to do is devote yourself to the process.
In some sense, HRT appears to be a significant deal for all of us. After a period, the results begin to emerge. Please be aware there is no instant Cinderella magic.
It does, however, work. And everyone will notice the changes.
MTF Transitioning After 40: My New Lease on Life
Last summer was a bumpy ride. After two years of isolation, I was finally reunited with my family in Spain. They noticed “things,” such as new hairstyles, French manicures, and a nicer figure. And, yes, tiny breasts. But they said nothing, and I returned to Germany.
I also met my current girlfriend and spent a few days on the beach in bikinis and swimsuits. Yes, I improved my physical and mental health to the point that I could finally wear revealing clothing in public.
These two events made me reconsider my future.
From there, it was a cascade of events, and I made the following three big changes:
One: I eventually started to see my true self. I am strong and beginning to look like I always wanted to.
Two: I’ve lost around 1.5 stone. I eat better, exercise, and pamper myself. I read about how to improve my mental health. Since I live alone and my closest friend is hours away by plane, this is an important issue for me. That may appear good, but I am saving the best for last.
Three: I needed to do something to finally close the circle, and since August 20, 2021:
- I moved to a nicer, larger apartment in an area where everyone knows who I am, accepts me, and even supports me. The people in my building are amazing.
- I quit my previous job, where I only came out to a few people.
- I got a new job. My badge says Ms. Victoria Iglesias, Software Engineer, despite using my legal name on the papers, as I haven’t changed it yet. I am the firm’s first transgender employee and the first transgender person to apply for a job there.
- I finally told my parents about my transition, which terrified me initially. I discovered they already “kind of knew” and are proud of me and my courage. They are very supportive because I am happier than I have ever been.
Honoured to Be a Member of the GenderGP Family, They Helped My Transition After 40
Without a doubt, I was able to accomplish a lot on my own. I didn’t expect GenderGP to take care of everything for me. Being a part of that community while being supported and helped by such a wonderful, engaged, and committed group of people, has made everything easier.
In recent months, I’ve recommended GenderGP to other people I’ve met who, like myself, struggled to start, continue, or resume their transition during the pandemic. This organisation does help, and they provide the support lacking elsewhere when it’s needed the most.
If you’re ready to start hormone therapy to swap your hormone profile so it matches your gender identity (rather than the sex you were assigned at birth), click here to find out more.
